ANGRYSPARROW.NET
Tabitha
makes a friend
(God
knows she needs one)
Posted June
14, 2006
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Tabitha: Hey. I’m Tabitha. Who’re YOU?
Shulamith: I’m Shulamith. Your guardian rescued me from the depths of eBay. What’s with the banjo?
Tabitha: I like to play. Mainly to annoy people. **strums opening bars of theme from “Deliverance”**
Shulamith: I suppose that CAN be useful… anyway, I think I like you. Tell me, what’s the scene around here?
Chance: Hey, Tabby, we’re goin’ out to a movie – er, who’s your new friend?
Tabitha: This is Shulamith. Guardian brought her here to live. Shulamith, this is my geeky older brother Chance, and friends Fenchurch and Kenzo. They all live here too.
Shulamith: Nice to meet you. **blink-blink**
Chance: Er, um, uh – yeah, nice…
Kenzo: Nice to meet you, too. See ya later.
Fenchurch: Yes, nice to meet you. C’mon, Chance.
Tabitha: Oh, and this is my sweetie, Malfoy.
Shulamith: Hi, Malfoy. I’m Shulamith. **smile**
Malfoy: (thinking)**that was a WINK… I dunno about HER**
Malfoy: C’mon, Tabby…
Tabitha: Okay, sweetie. Gotta go, Shulamith. See ya around!
Shulamith: I’m sure – glad to meet you – and Malfoy…
Shulamith: (aloud to herself) Uh-huh – there’s
some nice TALENT around here. I’m going to like this.
Tancredi: (raising lampshade) Ah, mam-zelle Shu-lameeth, you’ave ze dee-signeeng eye!
Shulamith: HUH? OH! I thought that was a weird lamp, and with a short, too – I kept smelling smoke.
Shulamith: And you are -- ?
Tancredi: I am called Tan-credi. An’ while I under-stand you ‘ave zee appree-ciation of ze jeunes hommes, I warn you zat eet ees not nice to steal o-zere jeunes filles’ chers amis.
Tancredi: Non, you must let na-ture take eets course, an’ all weel be bon – comme moi et ma belle E’Clair. Aaaaah – true love, eet come when one least ex-pects eet, an’ ma belle E’Clair she eez a reward from ze gods… natternatternatter…
Shulamith: (under her breath) blahblahblahyakyak. Does this frog windbag ever run down?
Tancredi: Well, mam-zelle Shu-lameeth, I must dee-part, an’ go to see eef zere are any mes-sages from ma belle cherie. I ‘ope you heed ma conseil, an’ zen all weel be well pour vous. Au revoir!
Shulamith: Yeah, uh-huh. Whatever you say.
Shulamith: Oh, all “weel be well,” Mon-sewer Windbag – all will be VERY well…
Tancredi went to galatia9’s spa for a sueding treatment, so to Chance fell the task of caring for
his ancient pet cat:
Tancredi, just to let you know your old cat Puff is doing OK
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