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**~Santa BABY~** – er, Blackie!

Posted December 23, 2011

 

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Faye: Oh Santa, I’m glad you’re here alone; I need to talk to you!

Zimta: I be at Santa’s side; invisible, I doubt, Miss –

Santa Blackie: Er, ah, sure, little lady – is it about yer kid’s presents, then?

 

 

Faye: Oh heavens no, I don’t have any kids; just nieces and a nephew. I want to talk to you, just like if I were a little girl *giggle* –

 

 

Santa Blackie: Well, then, ho-ho-ho and have a seat, little lady **pats lap** –

Zimta: E’en the wall hath ears and eyes…

 

 

Santa Blackie: So, what did ya wanna talk about wi’ me – any particular wants‘r’wishes?

Faye: No…*sigh* It’s more like regrets; I’ve been, um, a little naughty this year, where men’s feelings are concerned–

Zimta: Oh the hearts broken, far and wide scattered, hmmm?

 

 

Faye: I suppose I could make amends; it would be the decent thing to do considering the season, wouldn’t it?

Santa Blackie: Yep, it’s th’ season fer that, among other things –

Zimta: Deeds good go not unpunished…

 

 

Santa Blackie: I done some things I’m not so proud’a, which is why I do the Santy thing – fer the kids’n all, to give back somethin’ good –

Faye: Really? That’s very sweet of you –

Zimta:Tis I who the real sweets gives, though!

 

 

Faye: I’m SO glad we had this little talk, Santa; it’s given me some food for thought **pats leg**. I’ve got to go now, but I’m sure we’ll see each other again, very soon – though you’ll have the advantage, as I’m not in costume, haha! Be sure you stop and say, “hi”, hm? ‘Ta!

Santa Blackie: Er, um, suuuuuure… I don’t ferget a face, and I won’t ferget YOURS anytime soon *fidget* –

Zimta: Unforgettable is the FIGURE attached to the face, as well, methinks!

**Faye exits**

 

A little while later…

 

Washi: So, Santa, I hear you’re letting pretty young things sit on your lap –

Santa Blackie: She weren’t no jailbait, and she ASKED to. Zimmy was here th’ whole time, so there weren’t no funny business, if that’s what yer goin’ on about, little man!

 

 

Sister Angela: *to self* Uh-oh… he must’ve gotten in Zimta’s candy bag – again…

 

 

Washi: Oh, no, I find it admirable and amazing, that even in the guise of an ancient saint, you have the makings of a chick magnet! Nicely done, Blackie; it shows there is hope for you yet. May I make some suggestions for your further enhancement? I’m known for a certain brand of charm –

 

 

Zimta: Oh aye, charm, like the morsels that doth fill a certain CEREAL box *giggle*!

Washi: Quiet, you Elvish hussy! Or I’ll have you demoted to shoveling coal in stockings –

Santa Blackie: Heh, I used ta eat that cereal – still do *chuckle*…

Sister Angela: Enough of that, Mister! Looks like time for your nap!

 

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Bonus pic – Faye’s Christmas card!

 

Faye: Watch the hand, Santa!

Santa Blackie: Oh, I am – I am *snerk*.

 

 

Sure beats milk and cookies, eh, Santa Blackie?

 

It’s important to keep the help happy, as Santa Blackie will demonstrate –

 

 

Falalalala…or, How NOT to Spend Christmas!

 

 

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