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What Do Girls Really
Want...
Posted
November 17, 2007
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Nigella: So, Romy, have you
heard any more from him?
Hyacinth: Yes
– has he even called, e-mailed, text-messaged,
carrier-pidgeoned?
Romy: Nada.
Zip. Zilch.
Hyacinth:
What, has he left the planet altogether, then? What about his friends, have you
asked them where he is?
Romy: They don’t know anything, either. I asked. But
you know how it is with guys, they wouldn’t tell you anyway, even if they did
know. He just doesn’t want to be found right now.
Nigella: Not to sound mean, but maybe he’s doing you
an unintended favor. You said he’d begun acting oddly.
Hyacinth:
Well, that’s one way of looking at it, I suppose. He was never quite on the
up-and-up, I thought.
Romy: Yeah, true… lately. It was great in the
beginning. I hate not knowing, though, ya know?
Nigella: It’s all part of that male mystique. We do
waste a lot of time trying to understand them, don’t we? As I said before,
perhaps he’s done Romy a favor, dropping out of
sight.
Hyacinth:
Since this seems apropos, I shall quote that old cliché, “There are more fish
in the sea,” Romy.
Romy: Yeah, and they’re all pretty slippery.
**enter Smythe**
Nigella: And to what do we owe your appearance,
little brother?
Smythe: I came… seeking advice. Regarding
a woman’s perspective. Could we… have some privacy for this?
Nigella: How opportune that you should ask! I doubt
privacy shall be necessary; you have a ready-made panel of experts here, most
willing to dispense advice. What say you two – dear Smythe
here needs our wisdom!
Smythe: Errr – I – I don’t
like to presume on your guests – it’s just that I’m in a bit of a bind, all
because of a small misunderstanding --
Romy: Haven’t we all heard THAT before!
Hyacinth:
Little cousin, ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been in a bind of one sort or
another, always on your own account! So it’s no surprise. You’ve gone and
offended some nice girl, haven’t you? And you’d like to know what would smooth
it all over and get her back on your side! You think it’s THAT easy, don’t you?
Romy: And you’ve tried the classics to win her
back – candy, flowers, sweet talk? Still not working?
Smythe: I don’t know – I sent a peace offering, and
have heard nothing – yet.
**enter Howell**
Howell: So, Smythe, you come to the enemy camp to learn their ways.
That’s one strategy, but in my opinion, not at all useful!
Hyacinth and Romy: Whaaaat? What YOU
said -- !!!
Howell: Now,
ladies – relax those ruffled feathers. Especially you,
Hyacinth. You’re always poised to strike. You’ll wear yourself out
prematurely.
Hyacinth: Hmmmph!
Howell: Just
because I couldn’t drop what I was doing and talk with you, didn’t mean you
needed to resort to these desperate measures!
Smythe: It’s not so much desperate – I merely wished
to study the matter from all sides –
Nigella: I wouldn’t fault you for that –
Howell: Now,
now, I see I’ve gotten here just in time. Annoying little stoat that you are,
you are my brother and a fellow male, so I feel responsibility to see you get
the best advice in this matter. **pats back reassuringly**
Smythe: Really… are you so sure…?
Howell: Of
course! It was nice seeing you, ladies, but we have serious work to do –
goodbye! **whisks off Smythe**
Nigella: *giggle* I’m sure!
Hyacinth: Well
– there he goes, off to get his head stuffed full of more absurd male logic and
notions. As if he hadn’t plenty already!
Romy: Hmmm… I wouldn’t mind some of Howell’s notions... I think there’s bound to be
some good ones there… *wink*
Nigella: Goodness knows what that poor girl Smythe’s on about will be in for NOW!
Howell got him out of there in
the nick of time.
Not all women have bad advice;
most sensibly Smythe turns to – Fenchurch!
No Axe-Grinding Going On
Here …
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