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Draculina’s Helper
(or
lack thereof)
Posted February 20, 2012 by Clara
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Draculina: Hmmmm, nice job of decorating the wall, Martha
Jean. However, I do not understand your use of these television and movie
vampires. I specifically asked you to utilize only pictures of the old masters.
Marty Jean: *with attitude* Yeah, well using pictures of good looking vampire guys
made up a little bit for me having to wear this dorky dress for you.
Draculina: That dress will suit my purposes with perfection, as you will soon see.
Now, go and find that young miscreant and bring him to me.
Draculina: But first, let me arrange myself appropriately in my chair. This should
do nicely.
Marty Jean: Oh yes, you look properly intimidating if that’s the look you're going
for. *rolls her eyes*
Draculina: *warning* Be careful, Martha Jean. I will brook
no nonsense on this. Besides, I am doing this for you and your silly
girlfriend, as you are aware. Now off with you and bring back the bait.
Marty Jean obediently leaves the room, still stinging a bit from being
forced to wear the fluffy white frock, but returns shortly with “the bait.”
Draculina: Ah, young
Draculina: Thank you for asking, although I assure you – you permission is neither welcome or required. Martha Jean, you did not give
him any advance information regarding his purpose here? *sternly* On your knees, young man! I’m getting a tired neck from
looking up at you. And believe me, if my neck hurts, your neck is going to hurt
worse, if you do not do as you are told.
Marty Jean: No, Draculina, I haven't given him advance intel about this. *under her breath* As if I knew any to give him.
Draculina: Very well then.
Marty Jean: I’m sure I don’t have a clue, Draculina.
Draculina: *arches a brow at him* I believe it is in your best interests to rethink
your position, young man. Martha Jean, I thought you told me that your source
said he would be … ah …. Compliant and amenable. I am
not finding this to be the case and I fear that I may have to teach him a
better way.
Marty
Jean: *dramatically* No, Draculina!
Not THAT!!!!! Let’s give him at least a chance before you do anything so
drastic.
Draculina: Oh, very well, Martha Jean. *smiles with a little dimple* I just can’t
refuse you anything, can I? *turns back to
Marty
Jean: *muffled giggles in the back of Draculina’s
chair* Oh no, Draculina, not at all.
Draculina: Still with me, young
Draculina: Let me make it easy for you then. You were summoned to this household to
be my bait for young women. You would probably think that I would only have an
appetite for the blood of young men, but I am a vampiress
of various and ecclectic tastes. Isn’t that so,
Martha Jean?
Marty
Jean: *nearly suffocating at this point in an attempt to
hide her giggles* Oh yes, Draculina. It is so.
Draculina: Martha Jean, I am sorely disappointed. Did you not speak clearly to your
sources in the Beamlette household regarding my desires in this matter? Did I
not clearly explain to you what you were to tell your source? I was clearly
under the impression that there would be no problem with this subject. I am
terribly grieved and disappointed in the attitude of this young man.
Marty Jean: *breathless* I DID tell my source why you wanted him, Draculina. But perhaps the source did not explain it to him
before he moved here? Perhaps they colluded with his brother to make him think
that his moving here was HIS idea?
And with that,
Draculina: Martha Jean, you had
better follow him and make sure he leaves without any further difficulty.
*Marty Jean leaves the
room*
Draculina: *smiling at you* The sacrifices I make for
Martha Jean and her friends. Would that young
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faye: Travel didn’t broaden him much, did it? *giggle*
Framed,
he was framed, I tells ya!
Easter
fared slightly better, with this little ditty to mark the day –
